Sentimental Value

As I am becoming more familiar (and addicted) to Facebook, it has become a sad realization that I have been stuck in my own little bubble. I could say that is because I became a parent early on and I had different priorities, but the realization is that I alienated myself because I felt that I didn’t fit in. I felt I needed to prove the negative connotations wrong and somehow my success would somehow vindicate those other young, single moms who had been stereotyped. As I am catching up with old classmates, I am seeing how many of them have been there for each other through various times in their lives, from marriages, birth of children, loss of family members and it makes me wonder how things could have been. All of my sacred moments didn’t go in vain, I shared them with the one that meant the most to me for whom I worked and struggled through tough times for – Rico, my son.

So today, I am going to dinner with friends to catch up with them and their lives and I am very excited; although it is due to a somber occasion. (My prayers are with Kaci and her family) I don’t take my experiences lightly and they have helped shaped my character, but somehow I feel as if a part of the real me is missing. I took on the world in an effort not to be a contributing statistic to the high school dropout rate or young, unwed mothers on welfare, but yet I know that even if I did add to those statistics, I would have still been ME. I understand now that pride should take a backseat sometimes, I understand that my weaknesses are usually someone else’s strengths, I understand in my attempt to be all that I could be and all many thought I could never be, I really never existed, I never found my place. I have to admit that it was very tiring to achieve all the things I thought would make me worthwhile in “somebody’s” eyes and now I am learning to do things that make me happy. We all know when ‘Mamas happy, everyone else is too’ *Smile.

It didn’t seem fitting until just now that I had skipped ahead to tomorrow’s devotional entitled, “Time to Talk.” It states how God is relational and created us to be in relationship with Him and others. Friendships are vital to our spiritual, mental, and emotional well-being. Both work and play can get in the way of maintaining those friendships. We need our friendships; making time to invest in them is wise.
Unlike the subject in the story, who had left her friends disappointed at the loss of camaraderie, I can say my friends’ and my conversation seemed to have picked up where they left off almost 12 years ago. I am truly blessed and I am humbled at the chance to reinvest in our friendships.
“Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their efforts” Ecclesiastes 4:9