No Cell Phone

Now let me just say this entire post is not going to be about how I forgot my cell phone at home and couldn't live without today...it is actually more than that.

Today was a rest day from training, but that meant everything else was off center. Woke up late, Kei was in a mood, Rico missed the bus, and of course, I left my cell phone at home.

It meant that at moments in my day when I would have normally texted someone or posted a status on Facebook; I had to just meditate and talk to God. Not a bad lesson :0)

Today was the beginning of finalizing a chapter in my life and as much as I would love to say that I was in control...I wasn't. I held it together until I was out sight and just let the flood gates open. I thought I was past it all. You know stronger, more resilient, at peace, ya da ya da ya da...
So in the hour that I had to wait for revisions and re-calculations, it was just me, my Journey devotional, my Bible, and God.

I read Psalms 119 - the entire chapter - and it kept repeating how I will keep His commandments, and know His percepts, and said I will fear Him, but how He will be there for me, and shower His grace upon Me, and He loves me.
I needed that reassurance to know that I was doing the right thing even from the beginning, my heart was in the right place and even when I get weary of doing what is right because my enemy continues to wrong me; He knows.

And as with anything I happened to open the devotional to Tuesday date, in my haze thinking it said Thursday, but there was a word for me...Philippians 4:8...dwell on these things.

When we're overwhelmed with our circumstances, it's hard to focus

on the pure and lovely things in our lives. The Lord wants us to face our

concerns and give them to Him.

Because of Jesus, we no longer have to let our burdens consume us.

And so after reading that I went back to Monday ~A New Year's Revolution. It talked about all the resolutions we make and how sometimes even before the end of the month we give up in exhaustion and frustration. Yet our Heavenly Father is always ready to give us a do-over...starting each day anew.

So, the author's prayer is to my prayer, "I'm going to ask God to make me what He wants me to be. Instead of resolutions, I'm going to ask Him to start a revolution in me." I think I have one up on the author in that department....I prayed this long ago and the Lord has answered my prayer...I fail sometimes and let worries overcome me, but He is right there to remind me that He is the bearer of my burdens.

In all things I am glorifying Him...

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011

I can honestly say that this year has started off wonderfully!!! The kids and I brought in the new year watching the Dick Clark show waiting for the ball to drop and enjoying homemade chocolate dipped strawberries and chilled Sparkling White Grape Juice...doesn't get any better does it? LOL!

Well, in all things Christ is to be given all the glory for my light heart and overflowing cup. I feel as if it is very important to live my life this year on PURPOSE. Webster's Dictionary defines purpose as a desired goal; an intention...My Pastor said it best, "Either you will go through this life by design or by default." So either way we have to get through this life, why not have a plan.

Last year each person in my family reached a developmental point in age...Me, I turned 30, my son turned 13, and babygirl is now 3...How awesome to see how we have all transformed and grown. We are definitely closer and have learned to adapt to each ones personality. Now it is time to develop some structure...my son gives it one to two months and then all heck to break loose again, but I determined that some things are set in stone: dinner time and all of eat at the table, laundry once a week, cleaning rooms...

My first "on purpose" action is to complete the Georgia Half Marathon in March in Atlanta. I completed my first half marathon in 2009 and after last years mountain highs and valley lows; I feel that this is a great way to get back to me...hence, the name of this blog: Running Back 2 Him.

I love running in the early morning. I feel as if I am receiving favor to hear nature waking up, the rhythm of my sneakers as they hit the asphalt, and a quietness in my spirit. There are not many thoughts running through my head at 5a and God speaks so clearly to me even through the music that I listen to as I run.

Well, I am off to sleep 4:30 sure comes early and this year is all about purpose and structure, so bedtime is 7mins past due...

GOOD NITE ALL...

Coming FULL Circle

Hi World it's me...Karen!!

I am here! It's has been over a year since I have blogged, not because I didn't have thoughts running through my head, or cute stories to share, but because something important was going on ...LIFE!

Recently turned 30 years of age and I am loving the life that I have now. I can honestly say that I am fully contentment, even in the moments (or long lulls) of despair. God and I have been pretty tight lately and I am so blessed that He never leaves me.

So many personal issues have taken place and as I look back over the last 12 months, I can honestly say that what man meant for evil, God meant for good and will always be glorified.

I changed Sunday School class - rejoined the 1st one I ever attended when I started going back to church and it sure felt like home - where I belonged.

I am now gain fully employed and self-employed as well...more on that later ;0)

My kids are growing up - physically and physiologically - I am amazed to watch them take their journey called life.

Anyway...nothing inspirational today...just getting my feet wet again...

In closing, my life verse never changed ....Jeremiah 29:11 - His promises are ETERNAL! <3

It's in the Vapors

I just laid Keilana down to sleep. She has croup, as with many childhood illnesses there is not certain why to figure out how she got it. She doesn't go to daycare, or nursery at church and for the most part doesn't travel in shopping carts touching unsantized areas. Due to my lack of knowledge in medicine, I am blessed to be surrounded by other mothers and nurses to who I can call upon in time like this.

I am constantly in awe of how each of my children have this special place in my heart that neither one can overshadow the other. As I was holding her in the bathroom with the hot shower on full blast and we just sat in the steam, I thought how my life has changed in 24 months. Many people say that they can't imagine their life before kids. I can't phathom what I would be doing if I hadn't of had Rico, but I can imagine what I would be doing if Keilana had not be born. Is it wrong? I don't know, I love her and I wouldn't change a thing now, but I had plans for Rico and I to travel and explore the world. For now it is put on hold, but now we have a bigger destiny and that is watch a little girl grow into a young lady and then a grown woman. We can provide her with unconditional love and support and even teasing and overbearing gestures.

Keilana will know that she is loved.

As I type and watch her sleep next to the Vicks Vapors Humidifier (that I robbed Peter the car insurance to purchase), I realize that there is nothing that I wouldn't do for her, nothing that I wouldn't sacrifice. Whether is is smooth edges due to the steam from sitting next to a hot shower, or 10 points for turning in homework late because she wants to lay on her mommy, or gas in my car because she has medical needs. For God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him will not perish, but have everlasting life. (John 3:16) I am grateful that my Father put my needs before His own, knowing I needed salvation and guidance. I can truly understand My Father's love for me.

I am about to go in and check on my 1st baby and make sure he is not smothering himself under the covers and once I am satisfied that each is comfortable and snuggled in his or my bed, then I too will turn out the lights and go into my own dreamland.
I just had a thought that brought a smile to my face. Both of my children would go to sleep to this song as I stroked there hair...thank goodness they weren't twins...LOL

Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are
Up above the world so high
Like a diamond in the sky...
Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder where you are.


Goodnight, sweet dreams.

SNAP SNAP

I am definitely not a poet, but poetry is defined as an imaginative awareness of experience expressed through meaning, sound, and rhythmic language choices so as to evoke an emotional response. (www.contemporarylit.about.com)

I hurt
The tears are flowing freely
Make up is not waterproof
No expression – be strong
No warm feeling - look intently
Keep it on the surface
Proud and scared
In shock, in admiration
Missing
Loving
You

With Fresh Eyes

I am taking this straight from the Upper Room devotional…

I opened Grandma’s blinds to get more light into the room. She never remembered to open them. Since moving into the dementia-care unit, she had become more and more forgetful. I was sad to see her slipping away.
One day we sat at her table, putting together a child’s jigsaw puzzle. I had brought her flowers, and each time she looked up, she saw the flowers as if for the first time and asked me who brought them. When I saw her look up from the puzzle yet again, I got ready to quash my annoyance at the question I knew was coming. “Well, look what someone brought!” Grandma said with pleased surprise. Then she added, “What a beautiful day this is!”
I felt my breath catch in my throat. Grandma was remembering something I had forgotten: the beauty of what God has made. What I saw earlier as sad I now as amazing: a woman seeing things with fresh eyes, eyes that did not take for granted “the ordinary.” It was as if I suddenly sensed God’s abundance where I had expected only loss. Grandma gave me a glimpse of the God who dwells in those corners of life that we might call “empty,” the God who moves in darkness as well as in the light, blessing us all.
Prayer: Show us (me), O God, how to live in your light, even in the dark places. Amen.

My sister is leaving as I am writing this on her way to our birthplace in Maryland. I am deeply saddened by her departure, but in the deepest part of my heart I know she is free. And she told me she was how she felt relief and no more pressure. I guess that old adage – “you never know what you had until it is gone” is so true. I have never really had great relationships since the beginning of my life. As a parent I have learned to cultivate those with my children and be close to them and love on them every chance possible. So now that I am just getting used to this sisterly thing – it is gone. I know me probably being quite dramatic, but when you realize all the things that you miss out on when you don’t have relationships and then you get a taste of them; it is hard to let go.

I had a shoulder to cry on, a big sister to learn from, deep belly laughs and every once in awhile eyes that were in awe of me. I know those things aren’t gone, but they sure are a lot farther than the 13th Street bridge.
She looks so good and the inner strength that she knew was there has surfaced and she is so much stronger for herself and her kids.

~Dianne, I hope you can finally say that you are where you belong. I know the stars are in your favor – God lined them up just that way. I love you more than I could probably ever express (you know it is in the genes). Be safe and I will see you soon. Hugs! So I promise now to stop crying (well give me about 10 minutes) and be strong and hold down the fort here. For I know the plans that God has for you, to prosper you…Continue to look up, your head has been down too long!
LIVE…LAUGH…LOVE

A new place in my heart...

I don't know if I am allowed to do this, but I found some of the blog accounts of the 30 children who visited South Africa and became Global Ambassadors of their community through the outreach of the Journey for Change Program.

The tears that well up in my eyes from reading their posts is hard to control, not from sadness, but for the overwhelming feeling of knowing that these kids get it. I don't know what the lasting impact of this opportunity will be, but the possibilities are endless.

In reference to We Are All The Same by Jim Wooten, a known author who wrote a book inspired by Nkosi Johnson, a boy who died at the age of twelve and only weighed twenty pounds. He had the AIDS virus which he had from birth. His mom died when Nkosi was only two years old. He also had a lot going on in his life, and at age eleven he spoke at an International Conference on AIDS held in Durban, South Africa. Well, Nkosi as a young child impacted a person like me at age 14. That he inspired me to talk about him many years later after he passed is a great thing for me. Nkosi Johnson mentions that, “We are all human beings. We are normal… We can walk. We can talk. We have needs, just like everyone else… we are the same.” I also think that any child with AIDS should always live a healthy life and people in general should always: “Treat everyone the same as they would like to be treated.” That’s my favorite saying.- Latoya Massie, 14

Today was a very good day. First, we went to church, which was very inspirational. At first I was not happy about going to church, but then when I heard my favorite song I was as happy as ever. Then after a few songs it got boring. I think it’s because I don’t go to church so I don’t know what church is about.- Vandesha Walker, 12

I will be in college in five years studying culinary arts and business. In ten years, I will be running my own restaurant and starting a family hopefully living in the suburbs. I want four kids and to travel the world. I want to take my family to Hawaii. I will do an open kitchen at my restaurant every Friday night and people who are hungry can come and eat.
-Wayne Phillips, 15

As a Journey for Change Global Ambassador, it has been an honor to serve others globally and locally. My mom and dad always remind me that we are living for the sake of others. I have learned the true meaning of the word compassion. There are many people who perform acts of kindness to feel better about themselves or just to say that they have done a good deed for the day. That’s not compassion. We do acts of kindness because we see a need and want to see that the need is met. That is true compassion and I think that is what Journey for Change is all about. I am grateful for the opportunity to serve our brothers and sisters at home and abroad.
–Joshua Hall, 15

Hi my name is Mariah C Ralph. I am 13 years old. I’ve been doing community service since I was 6 years old. I encourage people to do community service because it gives you this feeling… I can’t explain it. When you do community service for so long it becomes a natural habit. It’s going on 8 years that I’ve been doing community service in Manhattan. I love the thought of helping people who really need it. The most exciting community service or global service was when I went to South Africa. When we went shopping for that family who didn’t have anything I felt so good. I felt even better when I saw the grandmother’s face when we gave her the stuff. The best type of community service is when you go to orphanages and you know they haven’t been held in a while. To hold them and feel them grasp back is outstandingly breathtaking. They call you mommy because they don’t know any better and when you put them down because you have to leave it’s heart breaking. So I encourage community service because there are people out there who need more than just the latest phone. There are people who actually don’t need the newest pair of sneakers, but need a pair of sneakers. After I came back from South Africa I realized that I don’t need anything besides a roof over my head for shelter, people who love me, and food and water to survive.
–Mariah Ralph, 13

“I liked cleaning up the neighborhood –- sweeping it and picking up the garbage. I liked that people appreciated our efforts. It helps to communicate to everyone around that we care about our own environment and lives.”
-Sydney Smart, 12

“I learned a lot in Washington, D.C. I mostly enjoyed touring the colleges. At Howard University, I learned that the Power Tower Clock is the highest point in D.C., not the Washington Monument. I also learned that the chapel there is where Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X first met. There we also met with the University President’s wife and had a tour guided by some of the students who attend Howard. At Georgetown University I found out that they can actually pay your tuition for you. They also have cannons that are the only weapons that can point at the White House.
While we were in Washington we also met Congresswomen Maxine Waters and saw the work place of Barack Obama when he was a Senator. Besides that we did things that people would normally do when they visit Washington, D.C. like going to monuments and museums. We also had an excellent driver, Al. He informed us about many sites in D.C. that most likely we wouldn’t have noticed or known if he hadn’t told us.”
-Dasia Carr, 12